Do not you want to be sometimes somebody else? Somewhere else? Just disappear and go to a crowded or deserted, but nothing in-between, place where nobody knows you, where you can start over, where your life is a white piece of paper? A place where loneliness comforts you. A place where you just wake up and all your ever re-occurring issues just do not matter. They might be there – your weight, your face, your skin, your boss, your mother, your boyfriend, your desk with all that crap on it, your apartment that never seems to be clean nor organised, your friends that have slept with the whole city but still tend to criticise you, your fridge with rotten cheese in it, your package that you failed to pick up from the postal office for over two weeks already, your computer with the constant pop up of something not working, your dentist appointment that you keep on postponing, your emails that you still have to answer, your book that you have to finish since you got it for your birthday eleven months ago and you might see the generous little person in a month at your next birthday party asking whether you liked it while giving you a new one, and yes, your party still needs groceries and planning and sending out invitations and – yes all these issues might still be there but they would just not matter.
I would like to go to such a place. I sometimes long for just running away and being somebody else. Somebody smarter, prettier, better in control, more successful in life, more open to people, more able to commit, less caring, less thinking, less struggling. Oh yes, would that not be nice. Just go away and never come back. Never even look back. Just leave all behind and reinvent your life. Reinvent yourself.
Dreams are the driver and the danger in life. As much as we run towards it, we should never get swallowed by it. After all, my ever re-occurring issues give me a stable ground. They make me me. My very personal life. I have one, hence I am. But sometimes, they remind me that this me is not that somebody else.
Nice!
Just a personal thought; I see personal reinvention not so much in terms of changing ourselves to something “better” (whatever that may be), but rather in terms of living life from the place of who you truly are – your most authentic inner self. Not what the world expects you to be, not what you think you should be, but whom you know you are inside of you. For many, the ability to know who we truly are has been lost nowadays.
As said, just a thought triggered by your text…